Okay. First of all, I second what Kaylee said. She is pretty much AMAZING, love you girl!
Second, let me kind of introduce myself. I am Brittany... and I'm actually the only one of these girls who is (kind of) in a relationship-ish. (Not that I am like all proud of that or whatever... haha) If you are a girl, that will TOTALLY make sense. For the guys, let me explain.
So I am a dental hygenist. I graduated from UVU this spring... yay me! And a few months ago, this guy (Andrew) came in needing a checkup done of whatever. We got to chatting, and it turns out he was working on his mission papers. I was a tad bit disappointed... thought he was a little older than almost 19. But hey, age is just a number, right? And speaking of numbers... he asked for mine, so I gave it to him, duh.
So he called me... and we met up at the Creamery the next week. And we just hit it off right away... we hung out a lot, went on several dates, got to the holding hands/I love you stage, but no kisses... some promise he made to wait until engagement.
THEN... he left on a mission to Wisconsin. Before we even had time for a real good DTR or anything. But Elder McCain and I still write basically every week. But even though we kinda flirt(ish) sometimes, we aren't technically a couple... so yeah. It is complicated. But I totally do NOT feel single, at all. But I guess I am still "dating" and "single", although I care about him a lot.
What do you all think though, is it weird for a 23 y/o to date a 19 y/o? Too much of an age gap? and when he gets back I will be 25.... yikes. In Mormon culture I would be in the advanced stages of "Old Maid-ism" hahaha jk. ;)
Thoughts?
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13 comments:
I don't think the age gap matters, but I hope you keep dating and not wait for him. Life is too short to wait for one guy for 2 whole years.
Keep dating and have fun!
And he shouldn't be flirting even if it's "kinda" when he's on his mission. He needs to keep his mind on his mission.
I dont think the age gap matters to much if you dont mind it. I would be prepared for the returned missionary who still acts like he is high school though. In my experience it takes them a while to start acting like adults, and if your almost 25 I hope it all works out. Good Luck!!
Get a life.
It's weird because you think you're dating, but you're clearly not! You never kissed the guy. You're not going out with him on the weekends. This is one thing that annoys me most about LDS girls! Are you going out with other dudes right now? I bet so!
Definitely keep dating. I think since guys mature way slower than girls that he may be on the young side for you.
BTW I am a hygienist too! I used to work in Provo. I wonder if we know any of the same sleazy dentists. There are plenty!
I think you should consider yourself single until you either get engaged to someone else or he gets back. It's fine to 'wait' for someone, but you shouldn't consider yourself attached to him. He is on his mission, he is single and he is focused on the Lord, hopefully, like he should be. Don't let your relationship-ish be a distraction to him. Date around while he is gone, and if you are still single when he gets home great, if not great for you, maybe not so great for him.
1: the age gap is SOOO not a big deal, I wish everyone would get past that because it's not bad at all, i mean 10 years or so is a bit much but your only 23 and not old at all!!
2: Keep dating, I know its hard as I was kind of dating a guy when he left on his mission but focusing on him and stuff will allow for a lot of great opportunities to be missed.
if you want to keep dating, then i guess whatever makes you happy. Though I find it reeeally weird hat you've gotten to an "i love you" stage without even kissing. Maybe we're just raised differently, but personally I can't even imagine getting engaged to someone without having kissed them... it sounds a little odd to me.
As for the age difference thing, I dont think its a problem. Its everything else that I see issues with. :P
I've dated a 23 year old at 18, and a 23 year old at 19, I don't think it's that weird. age really is just a number, it just comes down to if you two can related on a maturity level. don't ever let age get in your way if you both feel it's ok.
Ps. 25 being an "Old-Maid" is ridiculous. Utah mormons are WEIRD.
I have never ever heard of a "hand-holding/I love you stage," especially before ever having touched lips. Not kissing until engaged is a bad idea. I can respect limiting kisses to 30 seconds or not making out, but not kissing at all?!? I have heard one apostle (Elder Faust) and one former mission president say they didn't kiss until the altar, and neither they nor their wives recommended it as a good strategy to remaining virtuous and chaste. In fact the former mission president read a scripture from the Book of Mormon and then expounding saying adamantly "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BRIDLE YOUR PASSIONS BRETHREN, NOT KILL THEM!" I hope I don't come off as overly critical, just wanted to give some food for thought
hahahahaha the last comment is the best.
Quinn-
I found the quote you're talking about.
"We must wait for the proper season in life to use some sacred gifts; we must prepare for that season. I did not kiss my wife until we were engaged to be married. I have tried to make up for it since!
"Goodness restrains your carnal desires, but it also helps you find your real self and liberation."
President James E. Faust
"Come Out of the Darkness into the Light"
CES Fireside for Young Adults
8 September 2002
I think I found the other one too, about not killing your passions.
"If, in your case, the physical tends to dominate, all the more reason to bridle it and find the other dimensions. Bridle is the word that wise father Alma used in counseling his son Shiblon, and the promise he attached is the key to understanding: “Bridle … your passions, that ye may be filled with love.” (Alma 38:12.) Bridling increases strength, increases power, increases love. There are absolutely two ways you can control a horse. (We learned a little bit about horses last night.) One is to kill it; one is to bridle it. Alma never said kill your passions. The implication is not that passions are evil, that we shouldn’t have them. On the contrary, we bridle something we love, something whose power we respect.
"A horse is stronger than a man, so the man bridles it, thus controlling its power and using that power for good. Passions are stronger than we are, so we bridle them, thus controlling their power and using that power to strengthen a marriage and forge it into eternity. One has to know how to bridle a horse or a passion.
"Remember, a physical relationship is simply too beautiful to squander, too wonderful to waste. It is the sterling silver too precious to tarnish before the beauty of the banquet.
Paul H. Dunn (He was Mission Pres. of the New England Mission)
“Teach ‘the Why’,”
Ensign, Nov 1981, 71
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