Last night I went to a BBQ with a bunch of friends. You know, just to enjoy some free food (yes!) and have a little fun after a long day. I had a friend call me right as we all got there about something she needed help with though, so I chatted with her right outside the door before heading in. I saw this guy come walking up to the door who I have known for a while. Although I use the word "known" pretty loosely. This guy, Jeremy, is one of those guys who is just awkward to be around. And because I felt bad about that, I tried to befriend him and include him so that he wouldn't feel like a loner. In high school, I was "that girl" who just didn't have a whole lot of friends, so I've always tried to be inclusive. The people who included me when I was in that same situation really changed my life, and I want to pass that on. This time, I guess it kind of backfired. Apparently there is such a thing as being "too nice". :) Jeremy got the wrong idea and thought that I was trying to let him know that I was interested in him. He began to try to touch me whenever he got the chance. It wasn't inappropriate at first, just a side-hug or something like that. Then it was patting me on the head (What am I, a cat? Rawr!), rubbing my shoulders if I were sitting down, etc. I'd always move away and shake my head "no" or just try to let him know I really didn't want him doing that. But he had a real problem with taking the hint.
A couple of weeks ago, however, I thought I might have gotten the point across. He called me "hot" which is something I really dislike. But that is a topic for another day. :) So I told him that I really don't like being called that, how I don't consider that a compliment, that I didn't want him to call me that, etc. Basically telling him that I'm not interested. And ever since then he left me alone. I thought my problems with him were all solved. But after tonight I guess I was wrong.
Back to my story... I was just outside talking on the phone when he walked up. I made eye contact and kind of smiled, just to acknowledge him, and then turned slightly away and went on talking to my friend. Instead of just walking on towards the home where the BBQ was, like I thought he would, he came over to give me a big hug. Like... a BIG hug. Both arms wrapped tightly around me like a boa constrictor. And he wouldn't let go! I struggled to get out of his grip, but he just laughed and held me tighter. I had to use both hands to physically push him off of me. Not just a little nudge, but a full on shove. I said "no" to him very firmly, and was about to say a whole lot more, but he walked away before I could say anything else. Then while we were passing each other he put his hand on my back and rubbed it in a very uncomforable way... like with the tips of his fingers prodding my spine. Ugh, this sounds even worse in writing... So I once again said, "NO". But I don't think he got the idea.
I think that the only way I will be able to really get rid of him is to just spell it out. "Jeremy, you creepy little...!!!" Haha just kidding... maybe something a little nicer. But is being nice what got me into this in the first place?
I am probably going to see him again tonight. And I am hoping to be able to clear it up when and if I do, so do any of you have any suggestions for what to say and how to say it? I want to get rid of this guy... but I would really rather not crush him. But is that something I can't avoid anymore?
My goodness, was life a lot easier when we all had "cooties".
♥-Kaylee
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13 comments:
Yes much easier when we all had cooties and the way to get a boy was to chase him around the playground or in my case, throw rocks at him. Good times. I appreciate the post and your blog.
-Kate
Ughh. So did you end up seeing him tonight?? Sounds like this guy might be a tough one to get rid of. Might just have to crush him. Sometimes guys don't always take the hint, ya know? But you gotta get your point across, and if someone has to get hurt, then thats a bummer. But it might just have to happen.
Just keep letting him know your not interested in very subtle ways, like not making as much eye contact with him. Eventually, he will get it. (hopefuly) :]
Just punch him in the dick. He'll never bother you again.
Don't let him catch you alone ever! Spell it out loud and clear asap. Don't spare his feelings- he sounds creepy!
I totally know someone like this! Maybe he has aspergers or however you spell it. You definitely have to spell it out clearly that you aren't interested and don't want him touching you or he will keep doing it.
Oh man isn't it terrible when they just don't seem to get it? I suppose we all fall into that at one point or another though. Hope you were able to get the message through to him though!!
Squeezing girls tightly enough that they cannot escape is the most effective way to woo the opposite sex. Everyone knows that.
So if you want people to read, you actually have to ...gasp...post! I'm headed back over to MBP.
I just stumbled across your blog, but you and I have exactly the same problem. I finally (after 6 months of him thinking we were meant to get married) told him in no uncertain terms that if he ever called me again I would call the cops. You absolutely cannot try to spare his feelings, or he will continue to just walk all over you. I'm sorry, it sucks and it's really hard, but do it now, before things get worse.
"Crush" the guy. Because if he is this awkwardly forward, either he needs to be crushed more often, or you won't actually crush him.
Girls who dislike being called "hot" is one of my pet peeves though.
-Blazzer
excellent points and the details are more precise than elsewhere, thanks.
- Norman
You made a few excellent points there. I did a search about the subject and almost not got any specific details on other sites, but then happy to be here, seriously, thanks.
- Lucas
I always inspired by you, your thoughts and way of thinking, again, thanks for this nice post.
- Joe
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