I have a huge pet peeve about being called "hot". It is definitely among the top 10 things that turn me off. The only guys who have called me hot have been dirty, nasty slimeballs that just have one thing on their mind. The only person who will ever be allowed to call me that will be my husband... haha. :)
I hate how I feel when someone describes me as "hot". I don't want to be thought of as a hottie. I want to be thought of as beautiful, and I know I'm not alone in this. I have only met a very few girls who prefer being called hot to being called beautiful, and the lifestyles they live are definitely questionable.
The purpose of this post is to hear all of your opinions on this subject. Am I just being a prude? Or do you agree?
Which do you prefer... hot or beautiful?
♥-Kaylee
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21 comments:
I totally agree. Hot has the connotation of being objectified. Beautiful can be about outward appearance but usually has the underlying understanding that the viewer is taking in a larger scope of the view, like you might say certain scenery is beautiful.
amen jennvan! hot is just the looks, but beautiful can be inside out, it speaks to the whole person as opposed to just the body.
Beautiful is so much more sincere than Hot!
I think hot girls hate being called "hot" since they've always been called "hot". They prefer to be called "beautiful" because that means the guy is seeing past her outward beauty and seeing her inner beauty, as well.
Average looking girls like to be called "hot" because it means a guy is looking at them in a more lustful way, which can be flattering to someone who isn't used to that sort of thing.
In my experience, I find hotties make out with me more often when I call them "beautiful" and compliment them specifically, like eyes or hair or skin, but mostly more personal stuff like, "You have the cutest laugh" or "It would be hard to date you because I think you might be smarter than me."
Average looking girls are more likely to roll around with me if I say something like, "People probably call you 'hot' all the time... and it probably ticks you off cause it objectifies you, right?"
They say, "Whatever."
They're thinking, "He thinks I'm hot. I hope he kisses me."
-c
That's disgusting Calvin.
also, I agree 100% I am not hot. Hot is a temperature.
My roommates call me a hottie...and it's ok from them, but I don't want a guy calling me hot.
ha ha Calvin-not the best way to be thinking about that then again I suppose guys would see it differently. Honestly though, I think girls like to be called beautiful because it is more sincere and they mean it more to the fact that they really like everything about you instead of calling you "hot" just to get some. Beautful is a more sophisticated term that has more depth and makes a girl feel like there is more than just looks involved. Not to mention, hearing something like, "wow you are so beautiful" can make you melt versus "Man you are hot" which makes it all seem so ughh.
Calvin,
Hate to say this, but your comment made me laugh because there's some truth to it. Given a choice, though, I'm sure the average-looking girl would still prefer beautiful to hot. Most self-respecting women do.
Now, if only we girls could discern between the guys who call us beautiful in a non-objectifying way and the guys who are calling us beautiful when they really mean hot because they know we're sick of being called hot. :)
i agree with Calvin and the commenter above me. there is some truth to it. i would rather be called beautiful though.
There is a lot of truth to what Calvin says...even though I think he has the WRONG attitude about women. Hot connotes a lustful attitude. If a guy calls me hot, I know that he is pretty much referring to my girls (meaning my chest which is a little too large for my frame and tend to get more eye contact than my actual eyes). I think that the word beautiful implies an outer as well as inner beauty. Which of course is a much more heartfelt and not boobie- oriented compliment. So if I guy calls me hot...I know exactly what I mean to him. My husband never calls me hot except when he is being silly. When we were dating it was always gorgeous, beautiful or a comment about my inner beauty.
The word "hot" doesn't have to be demeaning. It all depends on whose saying it and the intent behind it. Just because someone says "you're hot", doesn't mean they want to get into your pants or are making a comment about your breasts.
I've looked at guys that I think are attractive and I either use the words handsome, gorgeous, or hot. That doesn't mean I'm lusting after them, it just means I think they're attractive. That's it.
And I've talked to guys who have commented on girls they think they're hot and some were lustful towards those girls and there were some guys who just thought they were attractive, no lustful ulterior motives.
Don't make such a big deal about a little word. If you don't like it, then you should tell that person who calls you hot that you find it offensive.
Jenna
Semantics. The terms are interchangeable - the difference is who is saying them (as previously alluded to).
The girl I want to date right now is definitely H.O.T.!!!! But I definitely don't look at her as just an object. Because, frankly even if she is HOT, if there's nothing else there, it won't matter - we won't happen. So, if she comes to her door when I pick her up for a date and she looks really good, I might say, you look So hot! Or, I might say, you look fantastic, or really good, or luscious (just kidding ;-) ) or whatever (I do try to mix up my vocabulary because, well, it's just fun, that's all). She'll know I'm being sincere and that I'm not a tool, cuz I'll open the door for her to my care and take her on a nice date that I planned in advance.
If I was a slimeball and I was just sidling up to her (no, I'm not a sidler) and said, "Hey baby, you so hot, hows about me and yous...(fill in the nasty double entendre)" Then sure, it's nasty.
I think any of you lovely ladies would be OK with it IF you're attracted to the guy who says it and he's not a douche. IMHO :-)
I'm sorry but get over it. Own your sexuality, we're women. I'm sorry, but I love feeling sexy. Yes, I'd rather be called beautiful over hot but sometimes the guy actually means it as a compliment. Get out of your bubble, there is another world out there. I'm gonna get hounded for this, oh well.
I agree to an extent.
I want to be called hot at first glance but I want to be called beautiful by the ones who matter...
I guess I'm selfish like that =]
Interesting that Calvin and Ryan's the only guy perspective in these comments...
I try not to use the term hot to a girl's face. Hot is a physical descriptor, defining here level of purely physical attractiveness.
Beautiful is nice, but sometimes something more is needed. People really just need to be more descriptive and define their terms (gorgeous is one of my favorites to describe women when they truly are looking gorgeous. it's more of a special occasion...a beautiful girl who has gotten dressed up to go out or something could look gorgeous, however when she's wearing her PJs and kicking back watching tv, she's beautiful...)
You girls need to write more blogs. School is no excuse for not entertaining us! hehe.
Wow, you are SO full of yourself... you must hang out with BusyBeeLauren. Just listen to yourself, "I hate that so many guys call me hot all the time..." Are you serious?!? Get over yourself. Who says that? Being called hot is not degrading to women, your blog is degrading to women.
anonymous 10:45 YOU need to get over yourself if you are going around putting down busy bee lauren and other random bloggers. Do you really not have a life that you go around making fun of people you don't even know?? Don't be jealous of others because YOU don't like what you see in the mirror. Seriously get a life!!
So tell me, Anon@10:45, what is it about not wanting to be turned into a sex object, or writing a blog as a journal that makes a person conceited? And please explain how the thoughts of a bunch of college girls are degrading to women? If you're going to throw crap like that around, we'd all rather you just left.
Hot is just a short description for someone you think is really good looking. Now that I'm married with kids people have called me a MILF...it all just means your good looking and have it going on. People who know you inside and out call you beautiful but do you expect only people who know you well to comment on your looks?
These comments are hilarious! It is funny seeing so many different views on this. I laughed at Calvin's perspective - typical guy - knowing just what to say to get a good makeout sesh. When I was single, I actually liked being called both. When meeting new guys, if they called me hot, I was like sah-weet! It almost caught me off gaurd if someone new called me beautiful because it meant more than just a booty call. Ha! Of course once I was dating someone I loved being called beautiful. Because it is true, the word beautiful is so much more romantic and real.
Now that I am married, I still like being called both! When my husband tells me I am beautiful, my hearts melts, my eyes get misty and I fall more in love. When he tells me I'm lookin hot.....well, nuf said! Bahahaha!
I am sorry, this variant does not approach me. Who else, what can prompt?
I usually dont take time to ever make comments on a web site but I have to say I would truly be doing you a grave disservice if I didnt write something. This post has most definitely opened my eyes. Thank you so much for writing it.
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